Four thousand seven hundred and thirty two

Four thousand seven hundred and thirty two.

That is the number of days that have passed between the day I first met Josie and the day she crossed the rainbow bridge.

Yesterday was the first day that I knew for sure Josie was done. She was tired and just wanted to rest. I made a plan – give her the rest of the weekend to see if she perked back up and if not, call the vet first thing Monday morning. I didn’t want her last moments to be in a random emergency vet’s office that she’s never been to. She deserved better.

In the afternoon she got worse and I knew waiting would be a mistake. I called a good friend to help, knowing I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own.

Before leaving the house, I searched for Josie’s collar. When I found it, Bear got excited – he thought it was time for a walk. He was less than thrilled when I left him alone.

I carried Josie to the car.  I sat with her in the backseat for the entire drive holding her close.

The emergency vet was actually pretty awesome. They were extremely compassionate and had a procedure that made the whole process, from waiting in a private room, to the paperwork and payment, all of it – easier to deal with. Turns out the vet tech that helped us used to work at the vet’s office where I now take Josie and Bear. She remembered when I first brought Josie in. I found that surprisingly comforting.

I checked on Bear about 40 minutes after I had left him. He was howling. He had probably been howling for us to return the whole time.

She passed peacefully, just like falling asleep.

I hugged her goodbye, thanked her for sharing her life with me.

I left my heart in that room.

This entry was posted in A dog's life, Cancer, Josie and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Four thousand seven hundred and thirty two

  1. mrothwarren says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. You did everything for Josie; it is clear how tremendously much you loved her.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. So sorry to hear your news. Take comfort in that you gave her a wonderful life and her end was with you and peaceful.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I am so sorry. You truly did all that you could for Josie, and I know she loved you for it just as you loved her. I was shocked when I saw the news yesterday, and I cried tonight as I got caught up on the recent blog posts and then finally forced myself to read this heartbreaking one. It brought back memories of my own beloved pet crossing the rainbow bridge.
    I will miss reading all the updates and fun stories about Josie, and even more than that I will miss seeing her when I visit. But I know this is not in any way comparable to how much you will miss her in your life every day. Josie is now fully at peace and feeling no pain, and you were with her until the very end of the beautiful life that she shared with you. These are good things, even though your heart feels broken and left behind.
    You have so many wonderful memories of her, and have done an amazing job of documenting her time with you. I hope that these will provide you with some comfort now. Please know that I will be thinking of you and am here if you want to talk.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. OMG! I have been so caught up in my own life that I’ve been gone from the blog world for about 2 weeks. I am SO incredibly sorry to hear about Josie. As I’ve told you before, you were an incredible mom to her. You really did it all. I won’t tell you she’s in a better place. I hate when people say that. I hope you take solace knowing that her life impacted mine and countless others that read your blog. I can assure you I will never forget her. Love, Samantha (Noodle’s Mom)

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Admiral says:

      I understand completely – as I have been caught up in my life ever since Josie left me. I will say, I thought about you and Noodle a lot – mostly because one of my first introductions into your blog was when Khia passed. Because of cancer. And I knew one day I would be there too. Making the decision and dealing with the aftermath. I honestly don’t know what is better – having it happen suddenly, or knowing it is coming over months. Either way, it sucks. All this to say, thank you. Thank you for sharing your story and your dogs with me and thank you for letting Josie and Bear and me share our little world with you.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ahhh, you started reading at a very rough time. It does, in fact, suck either way. Though, I feel gypped that it happened so fast. I would’ve loved to take her for one last car ride and gotten her a cheeseburger from McDonalds. It has been my pleasure to write our story, just as it has been my pleasure to read yours. I hope you’ll continue writing.

        Liked by 1 person

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