Four thousand seven hundred and thirty two

Four thousand seven hundred and thirty two.

That is the number of days that have passed between the day I first met Josie and the day she crossed the rainbow bridge.

Yesterday was the first day that I knew for sure Josie was done. She was tired and just wanted to rest. I made a plan – give her the rest of the weekend to see if she perked back up and if not, call the vet first thing Monday morning. I didn’t want her last moments to be in a random emergency vet’s office that she’s never been to. She deserved better.

In the afternoon she got worse and I knew waiting would be a mistake. I called a good friend to help, knowing I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own.

Before leaving the house, I searched for Josie’s collar. When I found it, Bear got excited – he thought it was time for a walk. He was less than thrilled when I left him alone.

I carried Josie to the car.  I sat with her in the backseat for the entire drive holding her close.

The emergency vet was actually pretty awesome. They were extremely compassionate and had a procedure that made the whole process, from waiting in a private room, to the paperwork and payment, all of it – easier to deal with. Turns out the vet tech that helped us used to work at the vet’s office where I now take Josie and Bear. She remembered when I first brought Josie in. I found that surprisingly comforting.

I checked on Bear about 40 minutes after I had left him. He was howling. He had probably been howling for us to return the whole time.

She passed peacefully, just like falling asleep.

I hugged her goodbye, thanked her for sharing her life with me.

I left my heart in that room.